So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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