we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
