two words: eviction party
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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