I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
