That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
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