P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
