everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
