Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize