Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
