Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
