Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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