More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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