I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
