super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
