so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
