omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
