i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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