Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
