I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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