My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
