Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
