Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
