Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
