I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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