Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
