I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
