Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Can vaginas get frostbite?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
