Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
