Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
People in love make me want to vomit
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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