In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Sorry about my life...
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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