Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
