That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
