hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
