i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
ttyl tear gas
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Randomize
