The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I enjoy the company of your penis
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
