I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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