meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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