I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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