OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
