remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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