Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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