In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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