Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Randomize
