Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
