dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
