OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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