Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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