I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize