I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
