You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Randomize
