Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
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