i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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