I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
