Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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