Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I believe in your delicious
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
