Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Randomize
