is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I party with great urgency now.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
