so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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