we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
did you just send me my own nude
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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