I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
