Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
