he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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