I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
