Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
two words...techno handjob
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
