New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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