Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
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