sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
