I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Fuck appropriateness.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
